Anatomy of a cleave poem: November

I wrote this cleave today on a train journey. I have inluded all the drafts in order, the first being at the bottom. I hope there is something in my process for prospective cleave poets to analyse if they will.

                    November
          The sun weeps - cider tinted tears
             for Summer - for the fading
for the moon that hides - light
       behind the trees - as Autumn leads Winter
  shivering and anaemic - by the hand

***
                     November
          The sun weeps - cider tinted tears
             for Summer - for the fading
for the moon that hides - (pale) light
       behind the trees - as Autumn leads Winter
   shivering and (pale) - by the hand
***

                     November
          The sun weeps - cider tinted tears
             for Summer - for the fading
for the moon that hides - pale light
       behind the trees - as Autumn leads Winter
     shivering and pale - by the hand
***

          The sun weeps - cider tinted tears
             for summer - for the fading
for the moon that hides - day light
       behind the trees - as Autumn leads Winter
     shivering and pale - (Winter) by the hand
***

            The sun cries - cider tinted tears (are) shed
         for summer (for) - for the fading of light
    the moon (that) hides - from day
behind the copse of trees - as Autumn leads (her)
       shivering and pale - Winter, by the hand.
***

             The sun cries - cider tinted tears (are) shed
            for summer for - (shed) for the fading of
the moon that hides (from) - day light
 behind the copse of trees - as Autumn leads
        shivering and pale - Winter by the hand
***

             The sun's - tears shed
        for summer for - the fading of days
        the moon hides - when Autumn touches
(the) behind the copse - Winter leading her
        pale and naked - by the hand
***

the sun (weeps) is - gold tears shed
    for summer for - the fading of days
    the moon flees - when Autumn touches
    the trees that - (leads) Winter leading her
    pale and naked - by the hand
***

 the sun weeps - gold tears
for summer for - fading (like) days
      the moon - of Autumn
***

       the sun weeps - gold tears
          for summer - fading like
(for the moon in the - day)
***

the sun weeps - gold tears